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How to Talk to your Spouse about Money

I’ve had the opportunity to counsel more than a thousand couples dealing with financial challenges in their marriage. 

These challenges often exert major pressure and can even fracture the husband-wife relationship.

Many couples don’t begin a conversation about money unless a problem has surfaced. By then, the panic button has already been punched. That’s when tension can reach the boiling point in a hurry and blame and defensiveness take over.

To help build a stronger marriage, I recommend that couples have a weekly money date!

The purpose for the money dates is to discover their financial facts—income, spending, debt and saving. They are important, because they establish a habit of regular financial conversations when there is no crisis. These weekly money dates are a time for the couple to focus on their finances by praying together, reviewing their income and spending for the week, and celebrating progress the Lord has enabled them to make.

Here are the ground rules: no arguments, nagging or accusations! 

Jesus makes this remarkable promise in Matthew 18:19-20: “If two of you agree on earth about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.”

When a couple prays together about their finances, they invite the God of the universe to be personally involved with their earning and spending. 

So, make praying together be the FIRST thing you do on your money date. 

In Love,

Howard Dayton


P.S. Click here to learn more about Set Your House in Order and sign up for a small group study today. In the study, couples learn important aspects of their financial decision-making, such as completing a financial statement, family mission statement and estate planning.]

Howard Dayton is the founder and chairman of the board of Compass – finances God’s way and author of five books and six small group studies. Since beginning in ministry, he has served as a full-time volunteer and has led more than 75 small groups. He married Beverly in 1971, and had two children and four grandchildren before she went Home to be with the Lord. In 2019, Howard remarried. He and his wife, Lynn, reside in Central Florida and Charleston, South Carolina.