Successful marriages require good communication. The kind of communication you had when you were dating….close-up, honest, often, and generous. Remember, that’s when you realized how much you liked it when she wrinkled her nose as she laughed, and she was able to ignore your receding hairline ☺
When it comes to money and marriage God wants married couples to use money, even challenges with money – to come closer together – not have it damage the relationship. They should think of money as glue to their marriage and not as a wedge that separates. And that requires good communication. To improve your communication, answer these questions together.
How would you rate your communication skills and what can you do to improve? This is the reason we recommend that couples have a weekly money date to pray together and invite the Lord to be part of their financial life, review their income and spending for the week and celebrate when they make progress in their finances. If you establish a time to talk about money, you’ll improve communication.
Do you encourage your spouse and celebrate financial victories? This can change your marriage because when most couples talk about money – there’s a problem. Someone is spending too much or not earning enough. This is why you have to be intentional to celebrate progress. Become your spouse’s number one cheerleader, and it will have a massive impact on the health of your marriage.
What are the biggest differences between you and your spouse? It’s guaranteed that there are going to be differences. As the late Larry Burkett used to say, “If the two of you were the same, one of you would be unnecessary. One is probably a spender and the other a saver. One is probably more gifted in keeping the budget. We should celebrate the differences……and the strengths of your spouse can offset your weaknesses.
Have you agreed upon long-term goals? This is super important because when you both know your most important goals and dreams – you’ll spend money on those things that will help you achieve the goals instead of falling prey to impulse spending.
To learn more, participate in a Money and Marriage God’s Way small group study.
On the MoneyWise radio program, I mentioned that the Bible contains 41 “one anothers” in the New Testament. I’ve listed them for you below. They reveal how the Lord wants us to relate best to each other. Although these principles don’t apply exclusively to marriage, they do apply to it.
I recommend that husband and wife choose a different one another each week and really focus on making it a reality in their marriage. Bev and I have done this, and it improved our marriage sooooo much. Memorize a verse each week and ask the Lord to give you creative ways to practice it.
If your husband or wife do not know Christ or are not following Him, still practice a one another each week. You’ll be amazed at what happens in your life and the life of your mate!
Let me know how Continue reading One Anothers
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
My wife, Danielle, and I are currently reading through the book Love and Respect. We have both read this book before but we are now discussing a chapter a week to help us better understand each other’s needs. So far it has been incredibly fruitful.
There have been some great revelations I have received from doing this, but three things have really stuck out to me from reading this book:
- A husband’s unconditional love for his wife reveals his love for Christ.
- A wife’s unconditional respect for her husband reveals her reverence for Christ.
- In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Christ.
As someone who does well with simple concepts, these three thoughts really resonated with me. It made me think beyond my relationship with Danielle to other areas of my life as well. One of them being the area of stewardship:
- How I handle what God has entrusted me with reveals my love for Christ.
- How I handle what God has entrusted me with reveals my reverence for Christ.
- In the ultimate sense, how I handle what God has entrusted me with has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with my relationship with Christ.
Many times we tend to compartmentalize our relationship with the Lord- often without realizing it. Our relationship with the Lord is key to every area of our lives; finances, marriages, family, work, etc. I would encourage you to evaluate these areas of your life and see where your relationship with Christ fits in with each. As you strive to put Christ in the forefront of every area you will be able to love, serve and honor the Lord and those around you in a significant way!
Kyle Hasbrouck is the Vice President of Compass – finances God’s way. For more information about Kyle, please click HERE